Blood Love
by RoninSenshi
Summary: No matter what Tohma or anyone else said, it was his fault. No one loved Kitazawa Yuki more than he did, and it was he who killed him. He deserved to burn in hell. Rated for language in later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

Reposted because I made some changes in the first chapter. The english dialogue is in bold. Everything else is spoken in Japanese. Imagine it spoken in Japanese at least. I don't know much yet. And for anyone who doesn't know, 'sensei' means 'teacher'. Enjoy all._

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_Sensei!_

Bang.

"_It's obvious. You're in love with me, aren't you Eiri-kun?"_

Bang.

_That smile, he was always smiling..._

Bang.

The stench of blood was still fresh in his nose. He kept hearing the sound of the bullet over and over. He heard the blood splatter on the wood and on his clothing. But most of all, he could still taste the air. He did not think he would ever get the taste out of his mouth. It was not blood. However horrible the flavor of blood was, this was very different. It was very distinct. Betrayal was there, greed, lust and love. Before now, he had never even considered that these things would have a taste. It was cold too. So cold...He kept blowing warm air into his hands, but it did nothing.

"Sensei..." He whispered. That word itself was cold. It must be because he could not cry. The simple word "sensei" somehow made his tears freeze in his eyes. Either that, or there were no more tears left to cry. Oh, he wanted them though. Tears were a sacred outlet. When nothing else can come, they do. Tears helped to erase some of the pain. If there were no tears, he would have exploded by now, he was sure. Instead, his body seemed to be used up. Especially now that he had used all of his sacred out let. All the pain was being bottled up inside him with no release.

He hated it. He wanted to run, scream until his voice was gone. Anything but sit here and feel his heart burn. Anything at all. Even death. Yes, death would be much better than this. Better than sitting here feeling trapped. In death he could end his pain and follow Sensei. He could follow Kitazawa; be with him. He could repent...a life for a life, it was fair. Blindly, he reached for a pair of silver scissors on a nearby desk and raised his peace over his chest. This shining blades cut through the air. He waited for the cool tip to penetrate his heart...

"Eiri-san!" A hand grabbed his, trying to pry the scissors out of his grasp.

"No Tohma!" Eiri cried, holding on with all his might. "I want to be with Yuki, I want to be with Yuki!" But the hand twisted the scissors around; along with his fingers, forcing him to let go.

"Eiri-san, please don't do something like that in front of me." said Tohma, panting slightly from the struggle.

"But...I want to see Yuki..." said Eiri weakly. Tohma didn't say anything, but hugged him firmly.

"You never liked him Tohma, but he didn't need to die, he didn't deserve that! I'm sorry, I drove him to it, then killed him. It's my fault, all my fault..." His eyes burned, but still no tears came. He wanted them...

"Why can't I see Yuki-sensei?" Tohma lifted Eiri's chin with his forefinger.

"Listen to me Eiri-san. It was Kitazawa's choice to do what he did, you didn't make him do anything. You are the victim here, not Kitazawa. You did nothing to deserve this Eiri-san." Eiri buried his head in Tohma's shirt.

"I must have...I-I loved him Tohma..." Tohma ran his fingers through Eiri's hair.

"Go to sleep Eiri-san."

"I don't want to sleep Tohma. I want to see Kitazawa-sensei, I want to tell him..." Even as he spoke, a sudden drowsiness hit him and he slipped from the waking world.

"Kitazawa-sensei?"

"What is it Eiri?" Kitazawa answered lazily.

"Could I live with you?" Kitazawa woke up from his daze.

"What, you're not happy with Seguchi?"

"No, that's not it. Seguchi's fine, he's like a brother to me. I just...wanna live with you..." Kitazawa Yuki laughed brightly.

"You're a riot Eiri! You must be serious about your schoolwork if you want to move in with your tutor." Eiri blushed.

"No, schoolwork has nothing to do with it...you're, I mean..."

"Hm? Oh, I'm just so fun to be around, is that it?" Eiri stared at the ground.

"Not exactly..." Yuki lifted his chin up. Eiri could have fainted out of embarrassment now that those eyes were on him.

"I get it." said Yuki, in that damned smooth voice of his, "It's obvious. You're in love with me, aren't you Eiri-kun? You're so flustered, I can see right through you."

"No! Sensei, I just like you, you're my teacher, my friend, not 'love'! Well, 'love' like friends love each other, but not 'love love'!"

"Chill out Eiri-kun, you don't have to hide. I can't say I'm into younger guys, but if it'll make you happy you can move in."

"Sensei, I told you–" Kitazawa planted a quick kiss on Eiri's forehead.

"Eiri, shut up and study or I'll fail you."

It was Tohma's voice that woke him.

"**That's right. As far as the public is concerned, Kitazawa Yuki and the other one were drunk and killed each other. Uesugi Eiri was never there**."

"**Is this boy really so important to you that you have to buy out a reporter to fake the story**?" another man answered.

"**Eiri-san will not be touched**." said Tohma coldly, avoiding the question.

"NO! Tohma, what are you doing?" Eiri burst into the room.

"Eiri, you're awake. This is Millar Stone, he's a reporter."

"No Tohma! We have to tell them; I have to let them know! You can't just write Sensei off like that!"

"Eiri–" started Tohma.

"I don't want to hear it! You said it yourself! It's not my fault, they'll understand!"

"I know it's not your fault Eiri. But with your DNA on the gun and two bodies on one hand and only your testimony on the other..."

"What about his family Tohma? Can we tell them?"

"No Eiri, you and I will be the only people who know the truth." His head was spinning.

"No Tohma..." his head felt warm. He collapsed onto his knees. Tohma jumped out of his chair.

"**Get out**!" he yelled to the reporter, who wasted no time obeying. Tohma put his hand to Eiri's forehead.

"You're burning up! You need to get back in bed Eiri-san." There was a sudden pressure on the left side of his chest.

"I-I can't breathe...It hurts to breath Tohma...It hurts Tohma, it hurts so much...how could I kill the person I loved the most?"

"Eiri-san..." Tohma's face was dotting out of view.

"Let me tell someone...let me...me..." He could not see anymore, he felt like he was floating.

Eiri woke in late afternoon the next day. The sun was shining through the windows, he could hear the distant sound of laughter, and even birds. Last night seemed unreal. He wished it had been, but the pain pounding in his chest told him otherwise. He dressed reluctantly and went into the kitchen, even though he wasn't hungry. Tohma left a not saying he'd be back at 4:30. He glanced at the clock. 4:20. _Ding-dong._ He thought about not getting the door. _Ding-dong._ Then again, it could be something important to Tohma. Sighing, he opened the door.

A camera flashed in his face. There were people with video cameras and notebooks crowding around the door. Eiri jumped back and tried to slam the door, but a raven haired woman in a black trench coat and a hat hiding her eyes stopped it. She flipped out a badge.

"**Are you Uesugi Eiri**?" she asked.

"**Y-yes**..." answered Eiri shakily. She turned her golden eyes on him. He froze. Those eyes felt like they saw right through him.

"**Uesugi Eiri**," she said, flipping cuffs on him, "**You're under arrest for the rape and murder of Yuki Kitazawa, and the murder of Jason Perch. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney**..."


	2. Guilt

Do you know what I really hate as I begin to see more and more of? People who are good writers and write good fanfiction get like, 6 reviews while people who review the same tired material (ex: Kathryn and Tom are in love but they always keep it secret. What happens when they finally tell each other? P.S. I suck at summaries, R&R lol!11) have like, 200 some reviews of people saying it's good. Keep in mind, these people are the same ones who write, "Your so beautiful." and "I can't wait to meet you're sister." What the hell?Edit your stories, please! Why do people read that? Just want a scene to imagine your favorite couple in? There's better stuff than that, and it's usually more sensory than "she couldnt help it. he was to hot. she stood up grabbing his ass and puling up his shirt she rubbed his tite abs." You would have to be completely illiterate to think that was good. I would give you my version of the scene, but it would take too long. I realize people need to start writing somewhere. My earlier work is atrocious. That's why it isn't posted. Even now, everytime I go back over a story, Iadd in or delete things here and there.So please, expand a little. Add in a little mood, some smells, textures, lighting. What's happened to that character to make him/her feel that way? If you're at a loss for words, go to They have a thesaurus that gives you about thirty words for each word you search for. Now, if you want to completely flame me, that's fine. As long as you start to expand in your writing. That's about all I have to say on that. Except that I do have to go rewrite that mock scene up there to my standards. If I don't it'll haunt me. Anyway, read, it'd be nice if you review. Special thanks to my ONE REVIEW! Oh well, I guess Gravitation is a little outdated, the last book came out in summer 2005. Oh, the song used in this chapter is 'Always' by Saliva. I seriously recommend checking them out if you haven't already.

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"What do we have?" Shinari Reika called to her squad.

"Take a look at this." A lieutenant handed her a picture. In it was the boy her cops had just arrested. The other she recognized from the crime scene. It was Kitazawa Yuki, a 22 year old man who had been shot last night.

"So the boy and the victim knew each other. How?"

"Take a look at this." Another cop handed her a stack of papers. "Kitazawa was tutoring the boy. The boy is from out of country. He was brought over to the U.S. by a Tohma Seguchi."

"Good pronunciation." Reika grinned at him. "But in my country the last name comes first. Find out where Seguchi Tohma works. He'll probably want to be down at the station with the boy. Meanwhile, I'm going back to the station to question this boy."

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A police officer led Eiri into a gray colored room. The only thing in there was a mirror on the wall, a table and four chairs.

"Sit tight. A detective will be with you shortly." said the officer. Eiri sat down in a cold chair. He gripped the rim tightly. So many questions were running through his head that he could not make sense of all of them. The small room seemed to echo his heart beat back to him. Ba-bump ba-dump. As he listened it grew louder, faster.

"Uesugi Eiri." Eiri nearly jumped out of his seat. It was the woman with the gold eyes. She sat down across from him. Once again, he had the eerie feeling that she was staring right through him.

"I'm Shinari Reika, part of New York's Special Victim's Unit. Incase you're wondering, Seguchi Tohma is being informed of your situation." she said.

"You speak Japanese." said Eiri, surprised.

"Yes, I do. You've only been here a few months, haven't you Eiri-kun?"

"Yes."

"Well, I never got into Japanese law, but here rape and murder are taken very seriously, even for a minor."

"I didn't..." Eiri trailed off.

"You didn't? Eiri, the fingerprints on the gun match your customs papers." Eiri kept his mouth shut. He did not want to tell her. Saying it aloud would make it too real. This all still seemed like a nightmare. He pinched himself, wanting to wake up.

"Eiri?"

"Yes?"

"If you want me to help, you've got to tell me everything."

"Everything?" Eiri repeated. The woman nodded. No. Not everything. He refused to tell her everything. The woman slid something onto the table. Eiri did not look at it at first. He did not want to know what it was.

"Eiri, look at this. I know that you and Kitazawa were close." He glanced down. It was the picture Tohma took of Eiri and Sensei yesterday. He snatched it up.

"I didn't touch him. But-"

"Let Eiri-san out of here this instant!" Tohma burst into the interrogation room.

"You must be Seguchi Tohma." the woman greeted kindly. "My name is Shinari Reika, I'm handling Eiri's case."

"The hell you are!" Tohma shouted. "If you were handling it, Eiri-san wouldn't be here right now!"

"Seguchi-san, I assure you I'm doing everything I can to–"

"I killed Kitazawa-sensei." The room fell into a dead silence. "I won't tell you everything Shinari-san. I did kill Kitazawa-sensei, but I swear I didn't touch him." Eiri's eyes started to burn. He bit his lip. Not here. Not with them both staring at him like that. His heart felt like it was pounding out of his chest. A lump had risen into the middle of his throat.

"I wish to God I hadn't killed him. I wish it had been me. I wish I had just let them do it." He bit his lip harder. "But I didn't. I was too scared. Honest to God, I wish it had been me..." Shinari Reika turned on her heel and disappeared into another room.

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On the other side of the glass, Tohma held Eiri close. Reika massaged her temples.

"This is one of our rare open and shut cases. Andrea will be pleased. She'll have an easy time prosecuting with his confession." Frey, her CO clapped her on the back. "Good work."

"Mmm..." Shinari groaned, still rubbing her forehead.

"What is it?"

"I want Dr. Husani to examine him." mumbled Reika.

"Why?" Reika stopped trying to assuage her head ache and looked up at her CO incredulously.

"Why?" she repeated. "With all due respect, are you blind? Look at him. I don't think he can stand trial. He _wants_ to be convicted. Right now, he wants to be punished more than anything. I'm telling you right now, that child will not assist in his own defense."

"That's for his lawyer to decide, not you. Besides, that 'child' is sixteen. Anyone over thirteen can be tried as an adult. Your pity kid is playing you. He's not sorry, he just wants to get away with it."

"I don't think so. I know there's something more to this case, and I'm going to find out what it is. A kid like that doesn't deserve to go to jail. There's definitely more."

"Are you sure you're not feeling a little homesick?" Frey touched a nerve.

"If you ever talk to me like that again..." Shinari growled.

"Alright, I'm sorry." Frey interrupted. "I didn't realize Japan was still affecting you that much." Reika gave an exasperated sigh.

"When are we going to get the lab results back?"

"Not for another few hours."

"Alright. Oh man..." Reika started kneading her forehead again. "I hate this case. Look at him. He's beyond depressed. We'd better put him on a suicide watch."

"Reika..."

"At least do that for me Frey. My gut is twisting and turning. If he gets the chance, he will kill himself, I guarantee. Then, not only will we lose our case, but a child will have died on our watch."

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Tohma followed Eiri into a steel cell. Eiri sat down on the cot and wrapped his arms around his shoulders.

"Eiri-san?"

"It's cold in here Tohma...it feels like an icebox." Tohma sat down next him, putting his arms over Eiri's shoulders. He had a firmer hold on Eiri's arms than he needed to.

"I know Eiri-san. This is all wrong."

"Yeah...I mean it Tohma, it's freezing." Eiri skirted Tohma's comment.

"I'll get you extra blankets." said Tohma, standing up. Eiri caught the edge of his shirt.

"Wait. They're wrong you know. Tohma? I killed Sensei, but I didn't touch him. I swear to God I didn't."

"I know Eiri-san. Eiri-san, I'm going to be your lawyer, is that ok?" Eiri nodded.

"Tohma." said Eiri, still holding on to him. "I don't want your protection. I don't want any protection." Tohma knelt down on one knee.

"Eiri-san, I know you're feeling guilty, but–"

"It's my fault Tohma!"

"Eiri, we have things to discuss." Tohma averted his eyes and the topic. " Tomorrow they're going to have a shrink question you. Then, we're going to meet with the prosecution. I'll be right there with you. I want to make something very clear to you. Do not say anything without my permission. This must be handled delicately, and I'd like to tip the scale in our favor."

"You're not going to lie, are you?" asked Eiri immediately. Tohma didn't say anything for a minute, but then he smiled and said,

"No, of course not."

"We can't lie." insisted Eiri. Still smiling Tohma said,

"We're not going to lie Eiri-san. Now, I have a lot of work to do. I'll see you tomorrow morning." Tohma motioned for the guard to let him out.

"Oyasumi gozaimasu Eiri-san" he waved, and disappeared down the hallway.

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_I see the blood all over your hands_

_Does it make you feel more like a man_

_Was it all just a part of your plan_

_The pistol's shaking in my hands_

Eiri jerked awake gasping for air and drenched in cold sweat. He could hear music coming from somewhere in the room.

_I love you I hate you_

_I can't live without you_

_I breathe you I taste you_

"What is that?" Eiri demanded, covering his ears.

"Music." The guard answered shortly.

"Turn it off!" shouted Eiri.

_I just can't take anymore this life of solitude_

_I'm guessing I'm out the door _

_And that I'm done with you_

"Turn it off, please!" said Eiri desperately, clapping his hands harder over his ears.

"Alright already!" The music stopped. Eiri fell back on the bed, breathing hard.

"I know some people don't like that kind of music, but damn!" said the guard irritably.

"The music's fine." Eiri panted. "I didn't like the lyrics."

"That's the understatement of the year." the guard scoffed. Eiri did not answer. The lyrics had been spooky. He rolled over and closed his eyes, reveling in the silence.


End file.
